I apologize up front for this post expressing my anger. Yet, then again, I don’t apologize. Anger is an important emotion and I need to be honest with myself, that I’m angry.
My local radio talk show this morning, is discussing a recent report on hydroxychloroquine. The report states that this controversial drug improved lives on ventilators, by 200%. Really???
When Randy was first sick, no doctor would authorize hydroxychloroquine, or even any covid related drug. He was just sent home having double pneumonia with a steroid pill and antibiotics.
When Randy was admitted to the hospital, no doctor or pharmacist would authorize hydroxychloroquine. The doctor prescribed remdisivir, but the pharmacist would not approve it for Randy. That was a battle of dates and timing, which we finally won.
When Randy was intubated, no doctor would prescribe hydroxychloroquine as treatment for a desperate patient.
All along his covid path, I begged and pleaded for hydroxychloroquine and any alternative or new medicine giving possible hope to fight off covid. All along his covid path, I was denied in my requests, while also being told that they don’t know how to treat covid best.
My anger then was explosive. My anger now is hidden. Might be time to release some hidden anger, and this new report of the excellent results from hydroxychloroquine is setting my anger free.
You might all want to avoid me until this passes…
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The Survivor 
I can understand your anger. To know that there is something that potentially help and be denied is devastating. My husband also died in February…from a heart attack… and fortunately I didn’t have to face that kind of pressure. I am so sorry for you loss and understand how that anger and frustration tears at your heart. May God grant you some peace. Suzanne
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Oh Suzanne, my hubby died Feb 1st, so we are on the same timeline. Such a shock to both of us I’m sure. I will follow you more closely to see how you are holding up. This has been sooooooo hard for me, at times just not knowing if I can make it., and at least, struggling to know how to move forward.
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I agree. I was doing so well but my Irritable bowel went nuts and it has really pulled me down. I hope I am on the mend now. I also had to move from my apartment at the end of May and am living with my daughter and her family until I can move to the Independent Living place that has been part of the plan since before he died. Now it is just me and i do get to move on June 25th. Not having a place of my own has also been hard. the only thing we can do is keep on one day, one moment, one second each day. Wednesday would have been our 59th anniversary and that was hard but one more day to put behind me. Sorry for the long post but it is wonderful connecting with you.
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Yes, not having your home must be very hard. I’m struggling with being home, I keep escaping to get away from the pain there. 59th anniversary…Congratulations! We reached 30 years. I do hope the Independent Living will provide companionship for you!
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Thank you!
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Anger is your situation is normal. Those that care won’t avoid you and will simply stand beside you when you’re angry if you let them. Oh Donna, I’m so sorry 😦
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Thank you again Beth, for your encouragement. Such anger when ignored and helpless, when my beloved was dying.
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I share your anger. Randy’s whole Covid experience was truly messed up and so maddening!
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Yes.. I still can’t wrap my head around his process😖
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