To become a widow, I’ve lost my partner, my husband. And inherently then, I’ve lost my role as wife. Us widows understand that both these losses alone, are just about our whole life.
Engulfed in loss, the pain can almost undo us. Maybe undo us it does, then out from the tears, in these bones we crawl. And crawling it surely is, each little movement bringing us to a new life.
I’m finding new life, step by step, and starting to walk. Strength acquired, I’m facing each day with more of a sense of me. Pain springs up, but so does joy. Sadness of all that’s lost, but anticipation of all that’s to come. A middle, ambiguous ground of now; between past and future.
My God, my husband now, has had great compassion for my struggle. He is by my side, guiding the way that is dark and hidden from me. I’ll trust you hubby, for your love is proven for me. So again I’m a wife, following my dear hubby God, listening and absorbing his presence.
You will no longer remember the shame of your youth and the sorrows of widowhood. For your Creator will be your husband; the Lord of Heaven’s Armies is his name…. For the Lord has called you back from your grief… For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with great compassion I will take you back… with everlasting love I will have compassion on you.
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