Today continued with hope and peace and joy. I’ve been amazed at my upbeat mood for several days now. I cut back bushes that had frozen in our ice storm, attended backyard bible study with dear friends, then an early dinner. But something about this afternoon, loneliness set in which started a downward spiral for me. Thankfully I’ve learned to catch this early, and got myself outside to chat with neighbors and go for a walk.
I talk about God earnestly, and do hold him close in my thoughts. But reality is, sometimes I need other humans too. We all do, don’t we? My neighbor girl, 4 years old, loves to have me hold her while she hugs me and kisses on me. I soak this up. The other day she came up to me and says “Randy is dead.” Yes, Randy is dead, and her and I hugged and were sad together. Amazing how children are so innocent and just open with their thoughts and emotions. There’s so much to learn from children.
I’m bouncing back now that night is settling in. I’m finally sleeping more than 4 hours a night, and have had my appetite return. I really can’t complain about losing 14 pounds, but what a way to lose weight.
Just a note, my writing is in reality, thought processing for me. Pulling these thoughts out of my busy brain, helps me to clarify and organize. This also helps my emotions to release, which is always healing. I’m not a professional author, but write for personal reasons. I wish I were profound, with an impressive vocabulary. Regardless, I will always be honest, attempt to be open, and question everything as I’m very curious. I do copyright pieces that I find inspired, and am in the process of copyrighting this blog.
I refer to God as he, maybe because the Bible refers to him as our Father, and Jesus was a male, son while on earth. I realize this is off putting to some. Though I don’t understand gender with God, the male identity has stuck with me, so that’s how I write. No offense is meant to anyone or to God.
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