Honestly, I don’t care anymore about anything. No, I’m not taking my life. anonymous widow
Alone, empty, no purpose, no care, whatever... a common experience for widows and widowers. Not a suicidal imagination, rather, a complete emptiness. Life is wanted, more than anything, yet life is not found deep within. Activities, friends, family, work, don’t fill this void, though they all help to survive the moments. Though, watching the moments of others, is a pain-filled stark contraposition of the void within.
For me, this third year of widowhood, has brought this deeper emptiness. When grief had processed, and acceptance settled, I held that joy would arrive. Yet, this third year has arrived after much grief processing, with a stronger acceptance, and with the deepest void. Widow’s blogs confirm this universal void of so many… so many…
Whatever… the realization that life will happen, people will stumble, evil exists along side love, all paths are hard, death looms… acceptance of the path, whatever...
When ripped apart, the halves naturally wither...me
Yet sitting here… a stalk of geranium has broken, hanging on by a thread, it’s still blooming. That stalk, the widow… that flower? I’ve yet to discover.
Stay united with me, as I will with you — for just as the branch can’t put forth fruit by itself apart from the vine, so you can’t bear fruit apart from me. John 15
© Copyright 2023 DonnaTheSurvivor; All rights reserved. No portion of this work/blog may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.
The Survivor 