In dreaming, I was speaking to an auditorium filled with people, interpreting Huckleberry Finn. My first appearance and I couldn’t even remember the title of the novel. But the second appearance, I reveled in the mysteries revealed and spoke with enthusiasm and joy.
Be quiet, don’t speak, sit still, go to your room, don’t be a bother… Childhood messages ingrained within my being, all really saying don’t be seen, don’t be heard, don’t exist.
Today, after many years of learning to love me, and realizing there is God who truly loves me, I enjoy being heard and seen, authentically for who I am.
I write, typing out the innermost of my being. Exposed… such a dangerous place for a little girl living with “shhhhh.” Yet, joy and excitement and release and freedom accompany this release of me into my writing. The me of today, embraces that exiled little girl, letting her know she’s lovely and safe and seen.
Thank you God for love… love truly frees and warms and protects. I am seen and now I see.
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