Today is Easter, 2021, with reminders abounding of Jesus’ resurrection and victory, and promise of our salvation. I do find comfort in Jesus, faith, Spirit, God… God in all his forms has given me life, sustained me in life, and now comforts and guides me out of that dark valley of death and back into life.
Randy found release from his broken body when he left this world, a renewed body with energy and joy. Just nine weeks ago. This also brings me comfort, knowing that he IS living in joy, RIGHT NOW. How do I understand that he has no pain of longing, but is filled with joy? I don’t understand; the Randy I knew, would be languishing at this separation. Faith imprints his joy on my heart.
But… today I’m here on earth without Randy. Nine weeks without him now. I have languished at this separation. I’m here with promises. Promises of eternal life… promises of mission… promises of joy… Promises that look ahead to future, tomorrow or years away. Today though, is now. NOW. Now I sit here, writing out the stirrings that unsettle me. Sadness is creeping around, Donna don’t you miss Randy now? Yes I miss him, but that sadness is diminishing, right now anyways. I’m realizing the fact… ugh, fact… that he’s dead. Dead on earth, and adventuring in the next world.
Realizing… bringing to life what is real. Maybe not the classic definition, but my definition for realizing within my being. I face reality, this has been my mode for many years. I face truth. I face hard circumstances. I face misunderstanding. I face trouble. I face reality. Admittedly, facing the joy, love, beauty in life might be more challenging for me. So maybe this is my crossroad right now… I’ve faced all that the last 3 months has brought my way. Faced with courage, faith, and all the strength available to me. But now reality is shifting from loss and sorrow, to can I say… joy? comfort? a new season for me? unknown but exciting?
Yes, this is what I’m sensing. A shift is happening. The waves of grief are pulling back into the ocean, and the waves of promise are forming. Right now, all these waves are merging and frothy and messy and swirling, but I do sense rebirth from death, wow, salvation! NOW! For me … For Randy. May I face this unknown as I have faced the known.
He is Risen, Indeed!
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