The Great Attack

PreNote: The following I write not for sympathy, to self flagellate, or fishing for praise. The last few days I have struggled with self-criticism, self-doubt, insecurity, in a way I haven’t seen since young. This writing is my personal, very vulnerable process to face this attacker.

You, I haven’t seen in many, many years. You rip me apart, bit by bit, inside and out. Worthless, coward, empty, useless, nothing, ugly, old, grotesque, failure, hopeless, unwanted, unloved… these are the words of your torture. Hide, abandon, mute, disappear, are the paths you lead.

Randy did love me so, that you didn’t dare approach. Confidence from love has held me strong. So am I so fragile, that with the crumbling of Randy’s support, I crumble as well?

NO…..

I am loveable. I am strong. I hold faith. I hold God. God holds me. I have beauty. I have opinions. I am inquisitive. I am interesting. I am useful. I am helpful. I am wanted.

So you, my attacker, may I be your friend? May we meet? Will you allow me to see your pain? May we embrace and love and learn to live together in peace?

© Copyright 2021 Donna G. All rights reserved. No portion of this work/blog may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

Published by donnathesurvivor

Widowhood with Donna (Copyright 2021 All Rights Reserved)

8 thoughts on “The Great Attack

  1. How wise to invite your attacker to be your friend, Donna, to look for his pain behind the false accusations. With that invitation alone you are showing him your strength and courage, the absurdity of trying to lead you down paths labeled hide, abandon, mute, and disappear. I’m thinking this post will do much to bring peace between you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As you said, “I am loveable. I am strong. I hold faith. I hold God. God holds me. I have beauty. I have opinions. I am inquisitive. I am interesting. I am useful. I am helpful. I am wanted.”

    Keep telling yourself these things, Donna. Believe them. Every word is true! 💗

    Liked by 1 person

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