Walking today, feelings started bouncing out. Sadness, deep sadness layered with worry.
My brain asks…is Randy okay? We’ve never been apart this long, so is he really okay? What is he thinking about his death? His present? Does he see me now? Everything? Is he busy there? Is he really happy? Would I recognize him? Where is the Randy I know? So many questions…
Theologically I realize that Randy is with God in Heaven, but in my brain, I just don’t grasp that reality. Acceptance of his passing has been with me now for a while, yet this wanting to know where he is right NOW whirls in my thoughts.
Then foraging through the freezer to see if anything appealed for dinner…. I find a frozen chicken fried steak meal that Randy cooked in October 2020. My heart sunk… The dish was as tasty as if he just cooked it… oh the memories. This was his famous dish.
Thank you Randy for cooking dinner for me tonight. Thank you God for seeing me, taking care of me, and especially for taking care of Randy wherever he may be right NOW.
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