Walking today, feelings started bouncing out. Sadness, deep sadness layered with worry.

My brain asks…is Randy okay? We’ve never been apart this long, so is he really okay? What is he thinking about his death? His present? Does he see me now? Everything? Is he busy there? Is he really happy? Would I recognize him? Where is the Randy I know? So many questions…

Theologically I realize that Randy is with God in Heaven, but in my brain, I just don’t grasp that reality. Acceptance of his passing has been with me now for a while, yet this wanting to know where he is right NOW whirls in my thoughts.

Then foraging through the freezer to see if anything appealed for dinner…. I find a frozen chicken fried steak meal that Randy cooked in October 2020. My heart sunk… The dish was as tasty as if he just cooked it… oh the memories. This was his famous dish.

Thank you Randy for cooking dinner for me tonight. Thank you God for seeing me, taking care of me, and especially for taking care of Randy wherever he may be right NOW.

© Copyright 2021 Donna G. All rights reserved. No portion of this work/blog may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

Published by donnathesurvivor

Widowhood with Donna (Copyright 2021 All Rights Reserved)

2 thoughts on “Randy

  1. As you know I don’t believe in God as such Donna, but I don’t believe that with the energy we possess whilst on this planet we simply disappear to nothing. I promise you he is feeling better than you right now. He in the process of healing from the physical hurt and once he’s done that I’m fairly confident if you start really listening he will start speaking to you I often have messages from my mum and they always give me comfort. They are ok once the physical pain here is over, it’s you they worry about and he will always be with you. As I said, I *know* you will come to know this without doubt in time. Big love xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes Beth, I do agree that Randy is going through a healing/transition phase, from this earthly life to a life beyond. I commanded him, on his death bed, to visit me in dreams. I’m very open in dreams. I’ve had 2 dreams of Randy since he left, and they were both so comforting. I just get into these funks where I want to know where he is and what he’s doing right NOW. I find interesting that I was in that funk on my walk, then went home straight to the freezer and there was his frozen meal. A sign? maybe… Again, your words encourage me, and I hold hope because you share such strong hope with me. Thank you and big love back to you…

      Liked by 1 person

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