The Holy Book is filled with wonderful, terrible scenes of Passover. Finally, God’s saving of his loves, his vengeance of their tyrants. God is love, yes, also God is vengeance. Vengeance is mine saith the Lord.
Pestilence was written about by a fellow blogger. Pestilence then weakened a King, his leaders, and a mighty country, so God’s loves would be free. I ponder… does pestilence today have a purpose? Sent by God? This is the side of dichotomy that looks with dark, deep eyes. Do I dare peek? Oh God, my love, have mercy on me, as I’m not one to hide, but face directly; not pride, but intimacy draws me.
My love was devoured by pestilence… oh those words sting. My anger attacks the maskless, doctors, nurses, hospitals, systems, governments, God.. and even attacks Randy and me. Why wasn’t he passed over, protected by the blood? Why wasn’t I spared this anguish, protected by the blood? Is this vengeance? We’re not perfect, we are sinful, so was this vengeance? There’s plenty in my past that I’m ashamed, not following your ways, and I have pleaded forgiveness. But when I see that deep, dark face, I tremble.
This cloud of unknowing can haunt me. This is my soul’s journey, not doctrine. There’s no platitude, simple answer. There is faith. Faith given me, leads me beyond the agony, to the loving face of God. Here the eyes are warm, embracing, beckoning me to trust. I’ll rest here.
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