The question that has haunted me these last several months. And maybe now, I’m finding clarity.
Over the years, I have identified with my roles, relational roles: daughter, sister, niece, cousin, Christian, friend, student, scout, wife, mother, auntie, conformist, rebel, employee, employer, harpist, pilot, traveler, lover of adventure, risk taker, gardener, widow, survivor… and so the list goes of how I identify myself.
One by one these roles fade away; slowly as the sun passing through the sky, or suddenly as a thunderbolt strikes. And as they fade, do I fade? Do I change? Do I always need to redefine me?
Yes, that has been my routine of adapting. But this time, with the largest loss I’ve ever experienced, I’m seeing this adapting is flawed. I am, beyond these roles. I am breathing, sleeping, waking, eating, walking, feeling, thinking beyond these roles.
These roles are now fading, yet here am I. Yes, I… Me, within… The spark of my being. I see you Donna, I sense you… I feel you, I hear you… My being through this life, moment by moment; when young, here now, and you will be me who travels to life beyond when my time is complete here on earth.
These roles I fill will continue to arise and fade, but no longer be the meaning of me. So now I proceed, breath by breath, guided into each new moment with this spark that is Donna.
God thank you for this clarity… Donna thank you for being strong and revealing you to me…
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