30 months…
Shock is rare; there is more of a deep realization of death and living beyond death, and of reality.
Grief is subsiding; realizing that Randy is living a full, adventurous life with God, and I can continue with life here.
Emptiness and longing still overwhelm me; after the busyness of the day, I sit on my deck and play solitaire for hours, til slumber pulls my eyes shut.
30 months…
Almost feels like an in-between, from a vibrant, full life to… a vibrant, full life? Do I dare hope that life could be vibrant and full again?
Holding, waiting, pushing, where joy eludes me. A shell.. the sounds of the distant ocean are still heard, yet the life is gone.
Energy comes in spurts, as does inspiration; and when depleted, solitaire holds me til sweet slumber ends the pain.
30 months…
May your mercies, God, continue to me…
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The Survivor 