Today, I was struck by something John Onwuchekwa said in a podcast…
All days begin in the dark.
Wake at 2am, for me groggy, not knowing what time it is and for an instant, a bit disoriented… where am I? what’s going on? what time is it? Just go back to sleep Donna, you’re exhausted.
Yet, at 2am, it’s a new day! It won’t feel like a new day to me for hours, yet the new day has arrived and is spinning in the dark, quiet hours.
Just as growing in another’s body, our beginnings may sometimes be dark, lonely, groggy, disorienting, questioning, doubting, retreating in safety. And for me this is grief, where a new day has arrived, yet I’m floating through the darkness, not ready for the activity of the sunrise.
For John O, people and God brought him into the sunlight of day. For me? God yes… People? People who get me, love me, willing to walk with me? Partially… This path of grief is a complicated, breaking, painful path… very few can even fathom this path. I learned long ago that no one person can provide all that I need… it’s my group of people that provide bits and pieces.
Dawn is near, for lately I sense the lightness. The deep dark of 2am is passed, hope is finding strength in me, bit by bit. And I trust that the dark is spinning rest and hope and faith and joy and strength and love within, so that when the sun arises, I may awake refreshed, with a ready and willing spirit and being.
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