The Survivor

Widow.

Falls upon us quickly, regardless if we went through a long illness with our partner, or were shocked by a sudden death. The reality that your partner is no longer here on earth: sending those 10 texts a day, calling with a sweet goodnight when out of town, giving warm hugs, bouncing our ideas around, listening to our complaining, encouraging us when we’re down, doing the chores, and worst of all for me the wife of an airline pilot, he’s just never coming home again.

Widow.

A title that just doesn’t settle well with me..why? I’m not sure, to be honest. Maybe my perception of lonely, sad people; or broken people who need lots of looking after? I don’t want to be either of those. Admittedly, I am those, but hopefully for just a season. I’m at 6.5 weeks of widowhood as of this writing. The worst (there is no word that even comes close) weeks of my entire life. At some points, I almost quit. QUIT. Yes, quit. Not that I wanted to quit life, but that this pain is too intense to survive. I did survive those moments, and have hope I’ll survive when they hit again. And well, there’s that word, survive.

Insurance, banks, employers label me as The Survivor. At first hearing this, I chuckled. Me! Surviving! Ha, that’s expecting a lot, and you don’t even know me. But, I’ve now identified with this label, as I have survived the unsurvivable. I do have hope for a future full of love and mission (and travel!)

Survivor.

So this blog will allow me to share my thoughts and journey, connecting in a way that feels healthy to me. My hope is that whatever life brings your way, that you’ll find healing in this journal as well. God… Father, Jesus, and Spirit… is my life. He’s saved my life for eternity and in the immediate now. Everything I have been, am, and will be, are gifts from God. These aren’t just words for me. You don’t survive the unsurvivable, on just words. God is life! He is the breath in me, the thoughts of focus, the joy from despair, the peace that hugs me, the energy to move, the courage to reach out, the shepherd guiding my steps, and the support when I needed to quit. God. I’ll have a lot to say about him too.

So, thanks for reading, and I hope to have fellow companions on this journey.

Live…

© Copyright 2021 Donna G. All rights reserved. No portion of this work/blog may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

Published by donnathesurvivor

Widowhood with Donna (Copyright 2021 All Rights Reserved)

8 thoughts on “The Survivor

  1. Dear Donna,
    This is such a heartfelt, honest composition. It’s so obvious that you have such a strong faith, and God is with you every step of your journey. You are definitely NOT a lonely, sad person nor a broken person needing no looking after. You are a very strong person. Love you and anxious to read your next post.
    Love,
    Kathy.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for sharing your feelings. I know all about grief that feels unsurvivable, having lost my son almost 10 years when he was 27. The grief never ends (nor should it) but time makes it bearable, and happiness returns. My beloved village of family and friends, most from my church community, were lifesavers, as was my spouse, Deborah. Sending love and hope as you navigate this new territory.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Beautifully written, Donna. You have a wonderful gift with words! We will have the strength to make it through this journey, as we continue to trust in and rely upon HIM for our everything.

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply to donnathesurvivor Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: