Six Months

Today is six months of my love living an abundant adventure in heaven. For me, six months of struggle, to hold onto life and to live here on earth. Hello my love, I do pray that you are busy, challenged, and full of joy. I miss you dearly my dear, and will always hold a love for you in my being.

Six months of searching for God, my bleeding being crying out to God, holding on to God with all my might. I never believed that I could survive to this milestone, only six months, but a lifetime to survive. Yet here I am, still writing, breathing, feeling, walking, sleeping, eating. New for me is a guarded heart, hope that God has a path for me, strength in my daily waking and doings, sporadic joy, and genuine love of my fellow beings. Fading is the deep ripping grief, the depression that stops, the shock of reality, the giving up.

Changes are ahead, some I’m aware of and others I’m not. God keeps redirecting me; recently when planning most things, I’ve been redirected to another path that just amazes me. Truly God guiding despite the plans I make. God, my hope and trust in you has grown from watching you in my life, your love opens my heart to adore you.

This all isn’t to say that my life is rosy, for as much as I love flowers, struggles still exist; and our world is raging against evil on many levels. This is to say that while amidst this world, Spirit is growing peace within me that leads to hope and joy.

Thank you God… through our Jesus… by your Spirit…

Sincerely, Thank You…

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