Then… Now…

You wouldn’t recognize me… you’d ask what’s going on with you… you’d be proud…

Since you’ve left, well I’m sure you can imagine but maybe don’t need to imagine, I’ve changed in odd ways:

• I’ve left our home that we adored and that I said I’d never leave…
• I’ve moved to a place that you loved and dreamed of living, for the healing it brings…
• I’m so active with new interests…
• I play, play, play and leave the work for when it’s urgent…
• I buy something if I want it…
• I scream when driving…
• I can’t drive at night, for my tear flooded eyes…
• I’ve locked the cats in the house…
• I say yes to invites of all types…
• I look for reasons to run errands…
• I’ve changed my hair style…
• I just don’t watch television anymore…
• I’ve started writing this blog, exposing my being…
• And so the list goes on and on…

You’d still recognize me, but you’d be shocked. Your loss has ripped me open, and I’m even shocked at what flows from my being. But then there is love…

Love for you.. our children… our families… our friends… our cats… of birds, flowers, sunrises, vistas, silence… God. These loves are still the core of my being, that you will always know in the way you saw me through and through.

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