…a life too empty to endure

Do you see me? Coming and going, laughing and smiling, walking and moving. Do you see me?

Us widows look whole I imagine, amongst the humans of this earth. I almost fool myself that this is living.

Yet living we’re not… We exist and push and collapse and try again and again… we survive.

How long? How long can I survive? How long can I not live? How long?

What does living even look like anymore? Is living as was once familiar, even exist again?

When the dawn arises with rays of a full heart… then, I imagine then, I’ll live again.

[“A life too empty to endure“…Looking for God in the Messy Places by Jake Owensby, page 12]

postscript: I am okay! this is my deep pain seeping out, which relieves the pressure so I do feel better.

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