January 10

Today is a milestone… 3 years, this day, my last conscience day with my love.

Remembering is full of pain, longing, anguish at the loss. That day we both knew…

If you must take him, please make it quick oh God was my prayer, and that night we lost him to the ventilator and unconsciousness. God honored my request and had mercy on Randy in the suffering.

Randy is a life to remember, such a presence he was… I’ll never forget. Yet what am I to do with these milestones? The remembering is still anguishing, and throws me into despair. So God, what am I to do with these milestones?

Today, Donna, today you are here, sitting in peace with a beautiful snowy forest, with deer and cats lounging in peace. Open to this peace… let it sink in… for I lead you by the still waters of peace, that your soul may be refreshed.

So today, I trust that Randy is busy on some grand adventure for God and not anguishing at the milestone of today. I envision him busy, laughing… yes I see him laughing in joy, and in such excitement, for he sees a fuller expanse than I. I see him excited for his journey, and for mine, for he knows God is with me as well. And Randy sees our kiddos, and his father’s heart nudges God to keep his protection on these precious beings.

Today, Donna, my children, let’s enjoy this moment filled with life. Today, Donna, my children, let’s open our hearts, our beings, to this peace… may it sink in and refresh our souls. Today, Donna, my children, let’s live in this moment of now, where all life is present to us…

Today, let’s live…

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