New Year, 2025

A new year, 2025, though I keep typing 2024…

My body memory holds 2024, my soul memory holds 2021 and before death. The makings of who I am, are from all those past moments, experiences, feelings, decisions, days, and years.

Yet here I sit, 2025 (my fingers typed 2024 again); here I sit… 2025… here… now… past is gone… future unknown… just now…

I sense excitement, joy, hope, faith, new days, new moments, peace in this moment. I sense my being reaching to the future, releasing the past, living the now. I sense something new.

This is new for me, for I haven’t had these in my being for many years. But something about surviving the holidays, seeing what life has been for me, brings me to sit here in love… love for me, for my God, for this earth, for people. This is the magic of God, this is the miracle of dear Spirit, this is healing.

Fairy tale romances, days of smiles and sunshine, roads cleared of all obstacles… these are not the vision or hope. Reality is that this earth is hard and challenging, yet I have walked through the valley of death, out of that valley to a serene mountainside. More valleys await, more mountains beckon.

Those valleys bring me searching for God, reaching out to God, screaming, crying, Where are you my God? Lamentations flow out of my being when in the depths of grief, loss, despair, death. Plugging in to God.

Yet when strengthened by my God, and joy and hope and love are with me again, where is my being? Unplugged from my God?

No… this is the season when I’m filled with gratitude, praise, adoration… my being cries out in gratitude, in praise, and in adoration of my God who loved and held me in the deep dark valleys, and who now walks with me in the mountains of light. Remembrance of God’s saving, loving, holding are with me now.

This is a new path, not a path from before death… all things changed, the old is gone, the future unknown, the now is here. The cycle of lamentation and gratitude, over and over, will continue.

This day I rest in peace, excited with hope and joy, and cry out gratitude in remembrance of a God who loves me through all.

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