Whispers

Lately, whispers have been gnawing, eating at me, just plainly sucking life out of me. Whispers? Yes, those whispers of “what’s the point Donna” or “you’re too old for any useful life” or “you’ll never heal” or “life is only pain for you” or “MOVE! you should be moving, accomplishing” or “God doesn’t really love you” or “give up Donna.” They continue through the day and night, when I collapse in screaming despair…

Do you hear whispers? Do you take these whispers to heart? Ashamedly, I hear them and succumb to them at times. Ashamed because as a person of faith, I am haunted by the whisper of “you should always be full of faith, never doubting, full of joy…”

Yet reality is I’m a human and imperfect and often not the picture of faith. Jesus turned on Peter. “Get behind me, satan!” he said. “You’re trying to trip me up! You’re coming at this from a human point of view, not from God’s point of view!” _{matt 16:23} Oh Peter! I’m right there with you… or as another version interprets, “coming at this as a mere mortal.”

Yes, I’m a mere mortal who listens to all the whispers… listens, contemplates, and acts on them. Yet lately, I’m catching this process in action, and seeing the difference between the healthy, God whispers vs the deathly, evil whispers. If the whisper is lying, or belittling, or stealing life, I’m learning to scream at it, “SHUT UP, LEAVE ME ALONE, GET AWAY FROM ME!” I’m starting to turn on those whispers and stomp them flat.

Crazy? Probably…. I’m a mere human! Yet this process is bringing relief, God is faithful to me and brings joy… So over and over I say to this mere human, truths to hold,

“God loves me, God really loves me…”

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ps… I’m putting this blog in Private Mode lately, as there’s been internet scrapers copying all the content. Still writing, but making public in short phases.